TITLE: The People of New York
DATE: 6/30/2004 01:15:00 PM
Nothing makes your morning commute more exciting that witnessing those who just helped themselves to a whopping dose of crazy.
One, rather ripe subway passenger was arguing so loudly with himself everyone else was looking around to see who the hell he was yelling at across the car. Once he started punching the air above his own shoulder I actually thought to myself "I wonder if he's pissed at the angel or the devil whispering in his ear."
Then, while pausing at the crosswalk, a HUGE man, dressed completely in woolen garments (No kidding. We're talking sock hat, scarf, and mittens.) stopped scratching himself long enough to "pump" his Super Soaker 7000 (and I am talking about the actual water gun here), hike its 3 foot length above his head, shower himself with an undisclosed liquid, catching several drops in his open mouth, and shake his head, spraying the bystanders, like an athlete in a Gatorade commercial. I resumed walking when the light changed, but only after declining his offer, asking me if I needed "to take a swig."
Thank you, Mr. Insane-o, but I switched to decaf looney and had my water gun's worth already.